We found out that we are having a son! It is a boy! The news brought both joy and sadness....As we were told that "It is a boy" both Rob and I had smiles on our faces as we watched our son on the screen. It is nice to personalize the life inside me and say "he" as opposed to "it". We have not decided on a name yet. Rob and I are praying and mediating on what that choice will be.
The news also brought up my human nature of wondering "what if". What if I was having a healthy pregnancy, we would be having identical twin boys. It's hard for me not to daydream and wonder what my sons' lives would have been like. Would they have liked to be wrapped up in the bassinette next to each other? Would they have been toddlers who fearlessly explored the world or cling to my leg? Would they have liked to play soccer or basketball or maybe even play music? Would their personalities have been similar or completely different despite physically looking the same? Would they have been tall just like their Daddy? What if, what if, what if.......the reality is that God has bigger plans for our sons than even my aimless daydreaming can imagine.
The ultrasound did show that the acardiac twin is continuing to grow. We are praying that he will stop growing soon because the longer he keeps growing, the more stress it puts on the anencephalic baby. On a positive note, I have been feeling the baby move. It has been a treasured experience. I feel that with every kick he is saying "I am here, Mommy!" "I am alive!". Rob has also been able to feel the movement and connect with our son. I have been placing the hands of friends and family on my belly in order for them to meet him, even if it is through my skin. I want people to have the same revelation when they feel the tiny kick....that he is alive and that there is a life inside my womb.